Fashion Observations

Hello there.  I think that I mentioned that I'm pretty into fashion.  There was a time that it was a huuuge part of my life.  I'll give you a little background as a way to establish a little credibility before I go on to give some opinions.  I managed and bought for a childrens/maternity boutique for a few years before working at a great high end boutique for about a year and then owning a great high end boutique for a couple of years.  During this time I made numerous trips to New York, LA and Las Vegas to buy for upcoming seasons and generally get a feel for what was coming up in fashion.  I LOVE fashion magazines.  At one point I was subscribing to TWENTY SIX of them.  Now I just get Lucky and Elle, but that is because I'm poor, not because I don't want to get more of them. 

Ok, on to my opinions:

First, please don't wear gouchos.  Do y'all know what those are?  They are those wide leg short pants that were all the rage in like, 2003.  Well last night at the gym I saw a beautiful girl come in wearing some dressy version of these with high heel boots.  WHY are you still wearing those, pretty girl?  They cut your legs off at the most unflattering spot and as a dress pant, they are unacceptable.  I am not even sure I approve of wearing comfy versions of these around the house.  Just toss them and get some real pants. 

Second, please stop wearing Ugg (and Ugg lookalikes) as "going out" boots. I'm not one of those people who disapproves of Uggs altogether.  I have a pair.  Actually mine are Emu's because I think they're nicer, but I digress.  I think these super comfy and super warm boots have their place.  When I first moved up north, I was totally anti, but the colder it got the more I warmed up to the idea of cozy sheepskin around my freezing feet.  I like these with jeans - bootcut actually - loosely cuffed and some type of realllly casual top.  For example, a flannel plaid shirt or a fleece.  This would be a great outfit for grocery shopping or running errands in COLD weather.  I can even get behind wearing these with the outfit above to a casual bar for trivia or a football game.  I cannot understand why I'm seeing girls wearing these with skinny jeans and a cute top at the bar on a Saturday night when it is SIXTY FIVE degrees outside.  Are you not hot?  Are you not embarrassed to have marshmallow feet at the bar?  Really?  The bottom line is this: these boots are made for comfort and not for sex.  If you wear these while you're trying to get laid, you're shooting yourself in the puffy unattractive footwear.  Ok, that is all about those.

Third is my opinion on leggings.  Ladies, you are not helping your figure by wearing leggings and some oversized top.  I get that we alllllll have fat days and want to be comfy.  Again, this is acceptable for errands and whatnot.  This is not acceptable for going out.  What are you doing??  These leggings and giant tops make you look big.  Wear a more fitted top (but one that is the correct size, please) and some nice jeans and boots.  You will be comfortable and look nice at the same time.  Also, leggings as pants are not ok.  Please don't wear a waist length top with leggings.  I really hate hate hate to use this expression...but I do not want to see a camel-toe ever.  Like, ever.  This effect is almost unavoidable with the legging and short top combo.  An acceptable combo is a fitted tunic to just below "your britney" (you know what I'm saying, right??) and maybe some tall boots.  NEVER WEAR PUMPS WITH LEGGINGS.  I cannot overstate this enough.  That look had it's sad day a few years ago, but it is over.  Please wear full tights if you're wearing dressy footwear. 

One last observation, and this really is just an observation.  Girls up north don't seem to get as dressed up or work on their "look" as much as southern girls.  I don't necessarily dislike this, it is just interesting to me.  I'm interested to know if you all have any feedback on this. 

Alright, I think I've laid enough opinions on you today.  I hope y'all have a gooooood HALLOWEEN weekend!  I'll tell y'all about mine on Monday.

Well, I didn't stop until Tuesday.

Yall, a lot has happened since we talked.  I left off on Friday night.  I went out to Cross Street Market for my friend's birthday happy hour.  That was a good time.  We drank big beers and then moved on to No Way Jose, one of my favorites.  I gotta tell you, though, Cross Street had more families early on a Friday night than it had dudes.  Just an FYI.

Saturday I didn't feel awesome after all of the birthday shots from the night before, but I agreed to go to the Rum and Reggae Fest at Lil Havana with some friends.  Now, that was a GOOD time!  All of the tasty rum punch samples you could drink for $15.  We had such a good time that at some point I was looking up flights to Vegas...really, Stevie?? haha  Anyway, I did make a mistake that night.  I met a really nice man that I hit it off with and I probably definitely led him on a bit.  An issue was raised for me that I didn't consider that night...nooooo I waited until we'd spent the whole evening hanging out before it occured to me that I couldn't get involved with this guy.  Here's the issue: I don't generally date men with kids.  He has a lovely six year old daughter and he says that there is no drama with her mom.  Really the problem is that I don't even know if I want my own kids, much less someone else's.  I realize that a LOT of people will see this as super selfish, and maybe that is the case but I'm just being honest.  I gave him my number, and he asked me out on Monday night.  I told him that I don't want to get involved because he has a child and he, of course, is not happy.  I wouldn't say he's angry or hurt...I don't know.  I can just tell he's confused by it and that makes me feel bad.  My mistake was getting too involved with him before telling him this.  I would blame the rum, but it was my own stupid fault. 

So, Monday night I went out to Barfly's to watch Monday Night Football - the Ravens take on the Jaguars.  Now, y'all should know that I LOVE THE JAGUARS.  I don't know how many of you are football fans, but the Jags won that game even though they totally shouldn't have.  I was super excited.  It was also my roommate, P's, birthday so we had a realllyyyyy fun night.  I ended up getting late night food (shame on me) from Hilltop with this guy, C.  It was a really funny situation.  We've met several times at Sly Fox and the gym, so I already sort of knew him though we'd never hung out.  We walked over after the game and hung out for quite a while just eating and chatting.  We had a nice time, or so I thought...he didn't ask for my number!? HAHA  P and my sister, A, say that he probably just figured he'd see me again since we run into each other all the time, but I'm skeptical.  I mean, if you like a girl, you ask for her number.  He's a cute ginger so I hope I'll see him again. 

On a different note, I'm searching for the perfect brown riding boots and I want them to be like, free.  Is that too much to ask?  Really though, this week my shopping is dedicated to my halloween costume.  I'm going as a flapper girl.  Really I'm thinking of my costume as a disco flapper.  There are these multicolored sequins on the costume that I'm not sure are authentic, but I'm going with it!  I'm excited and may post a photo of it if it turns out cute.  I need fishnets and some t-strap mary janes!  What are y'all going as this year?

On a diet/workout note, I'm doing ok on working out.  I took off Sunday cause I was tired and Tuesday for family dinner.  Otherwise, I'm sticking with it.  On diet....welllll that's another story.  Between all of the rum, beer, shots and late night food I feel like I've gained about 10 pounds in the last week.  I will take a week or so off of drinking and get back on track. 

I'll keep y'all posted on C and hopefully by my next post, I'll have lost my extra poundage!

Another one bites the dust.

Well everything has gone awry with B.  I think after totally overanalyzing it, I've decided that he is very immature.  Of course, it is easy to blame him.  Here's what happened, y'all tell me what you think.  I had run into B at the gym on Wednesday and when we talked he told me to text him that night.  I wasn't going to, but after talking with a guy friend, D, I decided to invite B to the Sam Adams beer event at Barfly's last night. D said that if I like B, I need to go out on a limb a little bit and make a move.  Now, I've already told y'all that this is one of the things I don't like about dating up here.  I HATE being the one to make a move.  I mean, grow a set guys.  Ok, so anyway I text B and ask him to the beer thing.  He replies that he "might do that".  At 6 or so on Thursday night I get a text saying he is coming with a friend.  I head over with P and her boyfriend, E.  When we get to the bar, we find that the event was cancelled.  I sent B a text that it was cancelled and he tells me that he's across the street at Sly Fox.  Well, I still think he should've come over.  I go ahead and order a dirty martini (my favorite drink ever) and my friends order dinner, so we're not leaving any time soon.  After a few texts from him asking me to come over (and a few minutes of flirting with the cute Sam Adams rep) I decide to head over for a drink to feel out the situation.  It ends up being awkward and as I'm leaving I just say "you're confusing" and he says "why?" and I go " well I usually know where I stand with people and I have no idea with you".  He just kind of laughs, so I say "well, I'm out".  And I leave.  How weird? I mean, he totally sends mixed messages.  I think he might actually like me, but he is like a teenage boy or something.  I think I deserve a man that would've come over and joined me and my friends. 

There's that situation.  All of my friends (which includes the bartenders from all of my neighborhood bars - HA) agree that this one is toast.  So.....tonight is happy hour at Cross Street Market.  This should be fun.  It is sort of known as a place dudes hang out on Friday afternoons.  I'll let y'all know how it goes.

As for the diet/workout portion of my life...workouts are going great.  I've worked out every day this week so I'll take tonight off.  I've done well with food (minus the chips and salsa I ate Wednesday night - damn).  I've had entirely too much to drink this week, but I'm like a shark: if I stop I'll die! 

What are y'all doing this weekend?? 

Beer and boys

Hey there,

So I'm very excited that my favorite neighborhood bar is having a Sam Adams event on Thursday!  Barfly's on Fort is having a sampler of PUMPKIN BEER, MAPLE PECAN PORTER, and some other stuff that doesn't sound as good to me.  I particularly love these kinds of fallish beers.  As you can tell, this whole "no drinking for 30 days" isn't really working out for me...Oh well.  I am strict as hell with my food, so what's a beer now and then??

Speaking of my diet, I'm doing really well on it.  Not really craving sweets like I was afraid I would.  I have to say, my skin looks all glowy and isn't breaking out.  Also, sleeping like a freakin baby.  Eating right and working out does a body good.

Ok back to more interesting stuff.  I told y'all I'd update you on this boy situation I've got goin.  So, last night I went to the gym and B was there talking in a group of people I know.  The first thing he says to me is, "I texted you back last night".  He seemed a little hurt that I hadn't replied.  I was surprised and it caught me off guard so I SAID I DIDN'T GET THE TEXT. Ok, I will wait while you talk about what a freaking bad dater I am...I know it was a stupid thing to say.  My friends are all baffled my complete lack of communication skills with a man I'm interested in.  I can talk to almost anyone with no problem.  I've even been called "witty".  Well, not when I think someone's cute.  Forget about it.  I'm a bumbling idiot.  Back to the story.  So, we are both a little awkward.  I think he may be as shy/awkward as I am.  I end up just walking away to workout.  I texted him later and told him I had fun Saturday night...he never replied.  I swear, this boy is confusing as hell.  Does he like me or no?  Do I keep trying or no? 

Tomorrow night I'm going to dinner with a guy I used to hook up with.  We somehow moved into friend zone a few months ago.  I kept his dog all last week - precious lil guy - and he is taking me and P to dinner as a "thank you" gesture.  I think it could be fun...though, me and P were emailing and we're not sure what our dinner conversation is going to be like.  We came to the conclusion that we will drink wine and everything will be fine.

I know that I am TOTALLY going back on the plan not to discuss dating too much.  It happens to be what is on my mind.  If this situation continues to go awry, I'll start talking about something else...just not sure what yet.

The freakin weekend...

Hello there readers,

I had an interesting weekend.  I definitely drank on DAY 6 of the Whole 30.  FAIL...I think it was worth it.  Friday night, P (the roommate) had some girls over for a clothing party thing and we were all supposed to go out afterward.  There were 15 girls and they all pooped out by 11:30, so that night was pretty much a bust.  I did make it through that party and the bar with out drinking or eating badly. 

So, here is another dating story.  I believe that it nicely illustrates how bad I am at dating.  I met a guy at my gym that we'll call B. I met him one afternoon a few weeks ago, made some small talk with him and haven't really seen him since.  On Saturday I was working out and he came in and we started talking.  He asked where I was watching a football game that night and I mentioned a couple of bars in our neighborhood as possibilities.  He says that he is going to the one right by my house and I tell him that maybe I'll see him there.  I start freaking out because I had planned to go watch the game alone.  I didn't want to show up there alone and scare the poor guy - making him think I was thinking we'd made a date.  So my awesome roommate, P, agreed to go with me and hang out for one drink before she goes on her date.  It worked perfect.  We get there and he waves me over immediately, introduces me to his friends and offers us seats at their table.  So nice.  He immediately is smiling and talking to me - clearly seems happy I'm there.  Oh, this is where I fell off the wagon and started drinking.  It seemed weird not to have a couple beers in this situation.  Anyway, back to the story...we had a great time.  Stayed well past the end of the game just talking and hanging out.  He tried to put his number in my phone and have me text him so he'd have my number.  I go home thinking how great all of this was.  I wake up the next morning and have a text saying that the number I had was invalid and it didn't go through.  All day Sunday I'm all distraught that we have no way to get in touch with one another.  And worse, that he's thinking I never texted him from my phone because I didn't want him to have my number.  So, P is all concerned too because she knows that I never like anyone and this is a disaster.  She decides that she should go knock on his door (he lives right across the street) and give him my number.  Now, keep in mind that this is a decision made after drinking at football tailgates all day on Sunday.  His neighbor is outside and she talks to him for a minute and then tells him to let B know that MaryJean stopped by.  REALLY?? NOOOOOO (this is bad b/c you NEVER just stop by a guy's house, right?)  So, I didn't know about this exchange and P went off to her boyfriend's house and I went home.  I actually figured out that the number I had in my phone for B was right and accidentally called the number.  He didn't answer, thank god.  I don't know what I would've said.  So, a little while later I texted him...he replied a sort of short answer about an hour later.  That's it.  I'm convinced I'm never gonna hear from him again.  I mean, how do you go from "no way to get in touch" to "stop by the house, phone call and text" all within an hour.  I kind of want to die.  I should not be allowed around men I like.  JEEZ 

Does anyone have any advice for me?  I mean, this is awful.   I know I have to back off because I'm coming off all stalker at this point.  My roommate and sister both think he'll text or call.  When we were out he made it pretty clear that he's been interested in me for awhile.  I dunno...I'll keep you posted.

Dogsitting may kill my social life...

So, I'm dogsitting for a friend of mine and the lil guy needed to go to the bathroom early this morning so I took him for a walk around my neighborhood with rollers in my hair.  For the record, I don't roll my hair every day.  I'm having my photo taken today for my company's website and I want to look pretty.  What? Anyway, my neighbors are all a little crazy, so I really don't care except that with my luck, the man of my dreams drove by while I was picking up poop wearing a raincoat with rollers in my hair...what are ya gonna do??

Moving on...I'm on day 3 of that diet I mentioned yesterday, the Whole 30.  It is a strict version of the Paleo diet.  I won't get all "sciencey" here and tell you the ins and outs.  Google it if you're interested.  I think it is awesome.  The gist of it is that I can eat: meat, veggies, fruit and tree nuts.  I can't eat: dairy, grains, legumes or sweetener of any kind.  For the Whole 30, I'm trying to cut fruit for a few days just to regulate my blood sugar and keep my sweet cravings down.  I'm a LOVER of sweets so this isn't easy.  So far, I'm doing well.  I am sleeping good and I've got lots of energy and no cravings.  I'll keep you posted.

I planned to keep the dating talk to a minimum, but I started thinking about it and dating is a big part of my life.  Also, one of the reasons I started this blog is to talk about what it is like to be single in the north as compared to the south.  Here are a couple of observations:

1. Southern guys are a LOT more likely to approach you and start a conversation.  Here is my theory on why.  Northern girls are killing my game.  You ladies are too agressive and make it too easy for these guys.  They know that if you want them, you're going to approach them.  Why do you do it?  I mean, I know we're all taught to go for what you want in life and all that.  The thing is: you can't fight biology.  I don't care what anyone says.  Men like the thrill of the chase.  Women like to be chased.  Can we all agree to just let that be?  I know it sounds a bit old fashioned, but it is what I believe.  Apparently, it is what a lot of southern women believe, because the dynamic is totally different down there. 

2. There are more single "thirty-somethings" up north.  This is definitely a plus.  Now, I think that the reason is that people tend to get married younger down south.  I don't have a lot to say about this...just an observation.  I do think it is off-putting to meet a 37 year old man who has never been in a serious relationship.  I have come across that a lot.  It sort of indicates that there is something wrong with him.  Am I wrong to think that?  I'd rather him be divorced.  At least we know he can pull the trigger, right?

I always start itching for the weekend on Wednesdays.  I've got girls night this friday and I'm not drinking for the Whole 30.  I hope the ladies don't try to peer pressure me! ha It will be interesting to bar hop while only drinking soda water with lemon...I think it will definitely give me something to post about!

Trying to make it above the Mason-Dixon line...

So, this is my first post and there is about an 87% chance that no one will ever read it.  Even so, I'm going to keep on posting hoping for followers. 

Who am I, anyway?
I'm a 31 year old divorced southern girl trying to figure out how things are done up north.  I moved up to Baltimore to be near my sisters, who you will read a lot about here.   My life changed pretty dramatically a couple of years ago when I got divorced, changed careers and moved hundreds of miles away from almost everyone I knew. 

Why am I writing this?
I stumbled upon a blog written by a "single girl telling what it is like to date and live in the city".  I didn't feel like her experiences were anything like mine.  Going out drinking every night and flirting with men, ending with fast food and complaining about not being able to make her morning workouts sort of irritated me.  You are a woman in your 30s...get it together!  It made me want to put another "voice" out there.  I am someone who works hard (in a totally unfamiliar field), works out hard (it keeps me sane), eats healthy (makes me feel good) and spends lots of time with family and friends.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I love drinking and making out with men!  I just try to keep it to the weekends. Ha.

What, exactly will I be writing about?
I will write a little bit about my perspective on dating and some of my experiences.  I will try to keep that to a minimum so as not to embarrass myself too much.  I'm not awesome at dating.  I will probably write about my family and our crazy relationships.  I love, love to cook and eat! Ha, who doesn't??  I will be blogging about food and diet a lot, especially at first because I follow a Paleo diet and recently started something called a Whole 30.  I will talk about that more later.  I'll put some especially good recipes on here when I come across them and post some family recipes from time to time.  I also love working out and being active.  The ridiculously cold winters here keep me indoors most of the year, so I tend to lean towards gym workouts. I like to keep things interesting and as challenging as possible.  I really admire Crossfit and do their workouts a lot, though I don't follow the program religiously.  I'll probably touch on tv shows - I love trashy tv.  I'll also let y'all know if I'm doing anything fun in the city. 

How did I come up with StevieWonderful?
UPDATE 10/18...on the advice of my lovely and clever friend, Saczynski, I've decided to rename the blog from LoveMaryJean to StevieWonderful.  My name is Stevie and about once a day I have to say "yes, Stevie, like Stevie Wonder..."